Mourning Mary Daly

Sometimes, we are reminded quite suddenly about the importance of life. Often, this realization comes in response to a great loss.

For the last two months, I have been bombarded by the typical demands of life -- running a business, wrapping up one semester, preparing for another, enjoying the hubbub of the holidays. All of these are good and important parts of who I am. But in the meantime, blogging about gender issues continued to take a back seat to these other responsibilities.

Then, this morning, I opened an email from one of my feminist listserves to discover that feminist theologian Mary Daly had passed away yesterday after two years of struggling with ailing health. Daly was one of those writers whom I felt I knew intimately; like if we had a chance meeting at a local coffee shop, we'd chat for hours over cups of chai. I feel like she cultivated this intimacy with many of her readers, and I believe it's largely because of the incredibly honest way that she explored her theological journey.


If you've never read her work, I recommend reading it chronologically. Start with The Church and the Second Sex, a text that seems woefully outdated to most contemporary feminist theologians, but is vital in understanding the groundwork laid by pioneers in religious feminist thought. In it, Daly is so seemingly innocent about her questions about theology and ecclesiastical hierarchy -- Why are all the priests men? Is the Virgin Mary an empowering figure to women or a limiting one? Why are women and men told that they have equal access to salvation, but then, according to the Catholic church, women have to get theirs through submission to men?

Then, as you progress through her later works, prepare to have your socks knocked off.

Move on to one of her most well-known works Beyond God the Father, where she questions the patriarchal nature of God. From there, perhaps indulge in the poetry of a new theology created in Gyn/Ecology or, one of my personal favorites, her witty dictionary of new feminist theological terms in Wickedary.

Daly is playful, subversive, and poetic. When I first encountered her writing, I did not know what to do with her. In fact, if you ascribe to traditional religious beliefs, her later works will probably make you uncomfortable. And rather fidgety. For me, they were kind of like the itch I couldn't scratch. For others, they generate anger and resistance. Here's why.

Daly begins her theological journey by trying to find ways to work within the traditional church, but she quickly determines that religious practices are too mired in the patriarchal nature of God (with a capital "G") for God's true egalitarian nature to be redeemed in any meaningful way for women. And while her spiritual journey and mine digress at this point (she rejects a patriarchal God; I try to rework my understandings of God so that they are non-patriarchal), I appreciate that her anger is honest and her questioning is real. I have encountered very few theologians who have achieved this level of prophetic bravery combined with an innovative intellectual pursuit of theology.

Daly has allowed me to analyze the patriarchal aspects of my belief systems, which in turn allowed me to reject those aspects that are harmful and uncover those aspects that are empowering to women and offer voice to the voiceless. I admire Daly and seek to emulate her unabashed desire for wholeness, community, and real love.

So today I honor Mary Daly's life, not, as is typical after someone's passing, because of fond memories or good deeds (both of which I'm sure exist in excess) but because of her rich intellectual life. Daly has reminded me, once again, at how powerful intellectual inquiry can be, how it can change lives through a never-before-articulated question, a well-worded rebuttal against the status quo, or, in Daly's case, an entirely new vocabulary to mirror an entirely new way of thinking.

The next time I put blogging or research on the backburner of my life, I'll think of Daly. She has taught me in earnest that the mind is a terrible thing to waste.

From Mary Hunt, in her brief memorial to Daly from Feminist Studies in Religion:

She created intellectual space; she set the bar high. Even those who disagreed with her are in her debt for the challenges she offered.

May we all strive for such a rich legacy of ideas.

Revenge of the Women's Studies Professor

I'm guessing that many female authors are using Women's History Month as an opportunity to release their new books because as we approach the end of the month, I'm finding my Amazon wish list growing to gargantuan proportions.

The newest edition is Revenge of the Women's Studies Professor by George Washington University professor of women's studies, Bonnie Morris. Her book is apparently based on her one-woman play by the same name that she's been performing since 1993.

I heard Morris interviewed on the Bob Edwards Show on XM Public Radio this afternoon. I think you can download the episode through Audible.

Morris offered personal anecdotes about her experience as a women's studies professor, including the backlash she's received from students who still believe that feminists are "feminazis."

One of my favorite stories involves President Bill Clinton, who visited GWU to attend an NCAA men's basketball game. Morris explains how she shook Clinton's hand after the game and asked him to please stay for the women's game as well, especially since it would set an example for his daughter. Clinton apologized, saying he had a meeting at 2:00 and couldn't stay. Morris looked at her watch and didn't skip a beat. "Well," she said,"then you have time to stay for the first 20 minutes of the game." Clinton did stay, and that year, he became the first president to congratulate a women's basketball champion.

Morris' point is that our society treats women differently, and yet many of us convince ourselves that this is OK, that it's "always been like that." Morris asks why men's basketball should generate any different level of interest than women's. And she's right. Still, even as an enlightened feminist, this year, I've only filled out my NCAA bracket for men.

Morris is feisty and witty. She's down to earth and intelligent. In short, if her writing is anything like her interview, I'll devour her book in one sitting.

A little pick-me-up...in just SIX words!

My last few posts have been sort of downers, and more than one person has mentioned to me today that they've caught a case of the drearies. So, to spruce up this moody March day, I offer you a wonderful concept: the six-word memoir.


Six-Word Memoir book preview from SMITHmag on Vimeo.

This is such a great and stress-relieving exercise. It forces you to focus on what's important to your philosophy of life and cut out the not-so-important stuff. Here are some of my own:

Face = my mother's; Hands = my own

Loved anything that moved, including myself.

I wish Jesus was a woman.

Sleep before breakfast ...and after.

Writing makes me want to scream.


(I think it's interesting that so many of the above relate to gender in some way...)

Add your own to the comments section!

Oh, and be sure to check out the latest book from Smith Magazine, on six-word memoirs about love and relationships.


Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak from SMITHmag on Vimeo.

Women writers

I just have to share this fabulous review by Katha Pollitt on Elaine Showalter's new book A Jury of Her Peers. It's more than a review of a really good book (that you should add to your Amazon wish list, as I just did). It's a commentary on the historical constraints on women writers and the way these constraints affect contemporary authors.

She asks these questions:
"More different than the books themselves is the gendered framing of how we read them. Nobody says Henry James is a less ambitious writer because he wrote The Portrait of a Lady and not The Portrait of a Sea Captain. If The Corrections had been written by Janet Franzen, would it have been seen not as a bid for the Great American Novel trophy, but as a very good domestic novel with some futuristic flourishes that didn't quite come off?"

It will make you think next time you browse the library shelves...

The most important day of your life

...is, according to a new book, your wedding day. Ah yes, it's not the the day you earned your degree, that vacation in Italy you'd dreamed of taking your whole life, or the birth of your favorite niece. It's the day in which many women still vow to obey their husbands.

I won't even begin to rant about how heterosexist this whole thing is, or how it relies upon the idea of biologically-inherited gender roles. Why can't a person of faith give us all a book about how to be better partners? In general? Regardless of gender or sexuality?

Sigh...

I will rant (albeit briefly) about how ridiculous it is that apparently a male author knows best about what you need to know about becoming a "godly wife."

It's ridiculous.

(That's my rant.)

But fear not! There's also an edition custom made for the new groom! Because, according to the product description on amazon.com "As the soon-to-be spiritual leader of a new family it's important that a man of faith establishes a firm foundation on which his family will be built."

...because apparently women can't be expected to be spiritual leaders.

But hey, at least it's fashionable: "The elegant black tuxedo stripe LeatherSoft binding makes this Bible the perfect gift for any groom who wants a firm footing as he journeys down the path to marriage!"

I guess that's the secret of marriage I've been missing all these years. If only I had a Bible for brides, I'd really know how to make my husband happy.

And my happiness? Not a problem. At least I'd get the chance to experience the most important day of my life. Who cares about what comes next? All I need is one day of bliss. The rest is downhill from here anyway, right?

Talking feminism in Vermont

The coincidences with my best friend Sarah continue. No, not matching sweaters this time, but our Spring Break did happen to fall on the same week. This is a little odd, since my Spring Break never falls at the same time as anyone else's, but I'll chalk it up to divine feminist destiny.

I took a lovely train ride to Rutland, VT, where Sarah picked me up. We stayed at the Edgewater Resort for an amazingly low rate and watched people ice-fish on the lake outside our front window.

Here are a few of my favorite feminist highlights from the week:

1. The woman who owns Edgewater is at least 80 years old. She used a magnifying glass with a flashlight attachment to view our bill, and then when we asked if we could stay an extra night, she put the magnifying glass aside, looked up to the ceiling and said, "I like you girls." I liked her too, especially her sense of independence at 80. She ran an entire resort without a man in sight.

2. Where to begin with the conversations Sarah and I had? We talked about having male partners who encourage our independence, and how we'd go a little crazy if this weren't the case. We talked about the division of household labor and why it was such an issue for each of us. (In my case, my dad got home from work earlier than my mom but still contributed little to the housework.)

3. Sarah worked on a research paper regarding the social construction of motherhood and reminisced at the ways her own parents had encouraged her to participate in a variety of activities, regardless of her gender role. (Sarah was the only girl I knew in elementary school who could accurately shoot a bb gun, for instance.)

4. While I brought along a stack of my own books, I ended up curling up with one of Sarah's for most of our trip. It's called Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood and explores issues of class, gender, violence, and sex in nineteenth century Canada.

5. And then there was the wine we picked up for $3.99 a bottle, the locally produced maple syrup, and blocks of Vermont cheddar cheese. I'm not quite sure how these are exactly "feminist" in nature, but it just felt like they belonged on this list.

In short, it was a fabulous trip, and I recommend it for feminist friends everywhere.

P.S. All photos are courtesy of Sarah's "lens."

If I could turn back time...I wouldn't

Continuing with my recent segues using 80's/90's music, I decided to begin today's post with Cher's reminiscent single. Ah, don't we all often feel a certain wistfulness for days gone by. (Especially my dear mother, who tried to get in the front row of Cher's recent reunion tour...for real.)

I was listening to a radio program a few years ago on NPR. The guest speaker was discussing the state of American society. I can't remember if the topic was poverty or teenage pregnancy, but I remember that the man was hopeful toward our nation's possibilities.

When the announcer opened the lines for phone calls from listeners, one man called in and suggested that the solution lay in the past. That all we needed to do to solve our problems was to "turn back time" to an era when there were no drugs, no making out in front of the lockers at one's high school, no severe poverty. He was speaking of the 1950's.

I'll never forget the announcer's reply. He said (and I'm paraphrasing from memory here), "Oh yes, the perfect 1950's, when racism and sexism were still rampant and acceptable. Sure, your life as a middle class white man might have seemed perfect, but what about the rest of the population?" Then the guest speaker chimed in. "Yes, I agree. And I don't know about you, but there were still plenty of people at my school in the 1950's making out in front of lockers..."

Ha.

It's pretty clear to me that turning back time to a more Eden-like state of perfection does very little to move our society forward. Consider two recent books in the news that attempt to rewind American society: the re-emergence of the The Art of Kissing as a historical relic, and the new release of The Retrosexual.

In a recent article that appeared in Women's Enews, Kristen Tsetsi examines the ways that the seemingly innocuous language in this antique text mirror the language of date rape. (By the way, if you haven't done so already, consider subscribing to Women's Enews for free. A great resource for emailed news by and for women.) Consider just a few sample passages from Hugh Morris' 1935 book, The Art of Kissing:

"He must be the aggressor...He must always give the impression of being his woman's superior, both mentally and especially physically . . . He must be able to sweep her into his strong arms, tower over her . . . "

"If she flinches, don't worry. If she flinches and makes an outcry, don't worry. If she flinches, makes an outcry and tries to get up from the sofa, don't worry. Hold her, gently but firmly, and allay her fears with kind, reassuring words. Remember what Shakespeare said about a woman's 'No!'"

Ah, the old "no means yes" scenario. It's quite amazing to me that the genteel-seeming culture of the 1930's still presented quite a chauvinistic attitude.

And now for the second title: The Retrosexual. I don't think I could introduce this book any better than the London Mail:
"Once, men were simply men. But then feminists decided they were chauvinist pigs who didn't spend enough time doing the dishes. So along came the guilt-ridden New Man, swiftly followed by sensitive, moisturising Metrosexual Man. Of course, women soon missed the whiff of testosterone and were calling for the return of Real Men. Now a new book, The Retrosexual Manual: How To Be A Real Man, has been published."

A small selection of retrosexual tendencies:
1. Your mind is uncluttered. Consider the female brain, filled as it is with multiple anxieties about its owner's hair, figure, health, diet, clothes, shoes, emotions, digestive transit, sex life, competitive female friendships, multi-tasking duties as a worker/lover/ wife/mother/whatever.
Instead, your mind is focused on the important things in life: sex, beer, football. Women secretly envy a mind like that.

2. You can make decisions on your own. You don't need to talk it over for hours with all your friends, or consult a horoscope, or worry about feng shui.

3. You have strong arms which come in handy whenever bottles need opening, cases need carrying, or a girl just feels like gazing at a strong, muscular limb.

4. You do not clutter up the bathroom. No woman wants a man who owns more beauty products than she does. A man who showers, shaves, then gets out of the way is ideal.

The problem with books like these is that they assume that women's progress equals men's recession. In addition, they rely on our idealized version of the past and try to convince us that thing were better "back then." But were they?

Consider #2 on this list. Apparently men are not supposed to communicate with anyone about any big decisions. This is yet another example of a gender stereotype that harms us all.

Instead of turning back time, let's look ahead to a bright future, where men like my husband can use Herbal Essence hairspray with confidence, and women like me can belch at the dinner table. Who needs the rigid gender roles of the past when we can make our own, right Cher?

"thoughtful, bemused, affectionate, deeply skeptical outsider"

These six words are what Dana Gioia, chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, used to describe the new poet laureate of the United States, Kay Ryan.

Hooray, Kay! As one of only a handful of women chosen for the position since its founding in 1937 (then called Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress), Kay Ryan is a deserving choice. In addition, she's the only "out" gay individual ever chosen. This decision illustrates great strides in the literary establishment, but we still have a long way to go.

Many people assume that the arts community, because of its liberal tendencies, is largely resistant to the influence of patriarchy. As a female poet, I observe on a regular basis that this is not necessarily the case.

Consider the following statistics distributed at this year's AWP panel, entitled Women's Presses, Activism, & Gender Inequities in the Literary World:

1. In the history of the National Book Awards, only 29 percent of the winners have been women.
2. The New York Times Book Review from Dec 9 listed the 10 Best Books of 2007: 5 fiction titles by men; 5 non-fiction, only two of them by women.
3. A full-page ad celebrating 2006 National Poetry Month, sponsored by the Academy of American Poets and listing more than 100 institutional sponsors, prominently features excerpts of five famous poems--none of which were written by a woman. The official poster for National Poetry Month 2006 includes eighteen such quotes--no more than 25% by women poets.
4. Of the 137 authors in the most recent Norton Anthology of American Literature, less than one-third are women.
5. In early 2005, women constituted only 17% of the opinion writers at The New York Times, 10% at The Washington Post, 28% at US News & World Report, and 13% at both Newsweek and Time.
6. In 2003, only 28% of all books reviewed in the New York Times Book Review were written by women.
7. In 1995, 40 feminist presses existed in the U.S. and 40 in the rest of the world; there are now roughly six.

Consider, also, that since the founding of the original poet laureate post in England in 1668, no woman has yet to be chosen.

There are plenty of female writers out there, just waiting to be found. This feeling of invisibility is perhaps best captured by one of Ryan's own poems:

Hide and Seek
Kay Ryan

It’s hard not
to jump out
instead of
waiting to be
found. It’s
hard to be
alone so long
and then hear
someone come
around. It’s
like some form
of skin’s developed
in the air
that, rather
than have torn,
you tear.